COMICAL CHRONICLES

The genesis of the GREENSTONE patent is truly hilarious. Circa 2001; two punked-out geeks (POGS) brain storming in an out-of-the-way art studio. When the news hit that Chinese weird scientists had essentially grown a pig's ear on a rice plant, the POGS knew intuitively their time had come. WHAT IF . . . ?

POG Parker produced a three-dimensional THC molecule which POG Valentine Coles (VC) promptly put into use, recognizing the endless variation of utility it possessed. Graphically, it was flawless from all angles fitting into any environment seamlessly. POGS spent about a year laughing. Suddenly the molecule disappeared and has not to this day reappeared. Fortunately the molecule lives on in graphics seen around the globe. The loss would have qualified as major if one cared. The molecule is made from AVS industrial epoxy polymer and so it will be somewhere for a very long time. After that POGS often reminisced about the molecule and POG VC once suffered a short melancholy for the molecule which had become part of everyday life.

The following two years were spent thinking about the molecule, talking about the molecule and POG VC's penchant, dreaming about the molecule. POG Parker took action and started writing about the molecule. The deeper POGS travelled into the quantum reality of the molecule, they realized the Mandelbrot nature of GREENSTONE and ran with it in total disbelief that someone smarter (or dumber) than the two POGS combined was not racing them to the patent finish line. In the words of one on-line supergeek, "Why didn't I think of that?" There were a few glitches along the way like when an unnamed POG left the patent unprotected on-line for about a year previous to its filing with the USPTO. POGS are still laughing about that. At the least it cannot be said that POGS missed giving someone, anyone the chance to steal their patent.

COMPOSITIONS AND METHODS RELATING TO EXTENSIBLE TRANSGENIC VECTOR ASSEMBLER, PESTILENCE RIDDER, PLUS CANNABINOID PRODUCER was filed with the USPTO on August 7, 2007, after three years of writing and rewriting. At that point the venture had become an exceptional lark; POGS had nothing to lose. Needless to say attorneys did not get one green cent out of the POGS. Their method was all, by hand, partying all the way (giving special props to the Green Faerie).

In the early morning hours of February 12, 2009, POG VC woke from a dream about EnzymaticTHC.com, the original patent site. The dream seemed odd since POGS had not really thought much about the patent application for some time, like a year and a half, mentioning it only in passing. One thing for sure, THE MOLECULE WAS ON THE MOVE. The POGS conferred that evening, agreeing that they did not know what was going on (the usual); they came to the decision that a new website was definitely in order and were overjoyed . . . another excuse to party.

Within a few hours after taking POG Parker's key words to heart and mind (stone, rock, green, emerald) POG VC came up with GREENSTONE, completely unaware that GREENSTONE represented many things: New Zealand jade, Maori talismans, and POG Parker's fave GREENSTONE.ORG. Our GREENSTONE page design, colors and logo reflect many of these elements. Times-Maori font with a graphic overlay of green marble, stone-grey background color and the 'S' in the GREENSTONE logo fashioned from a New Zealand Manaia talisman derived from the word 'mana.'

A mere week had past when POG Agent Parker received a letter from the USPTO advising that GREENSTONE had been published on February 12, 2009. POG VC then realized the meaning of her dream; the molecule had landed and parked at the United States Patent Office. Best thing about it is ad valorem the years of laughter ahead for the POGS.

NOT SO JOLLY GREEN GIANT

Hulk Hogan (GG) underwent surgery for two ruptured discs. OUCH! This fact came out during a verbal tiff outside a Florida courtroom with GG’s estranged wife’s attorney, Ray Rafool (FOOL), when a reporter asked GG why he was on crutches. The argument began when GG attempted to interject a comment while FOOL was commenting to the press. The Hulkster was trying to have some of his $GREEN$10,000,000 This month our own green giant unfrozen. FOOL had argued against that claiming GG is misspending marital assets.

FOOL shouts “Are you gonna to wrestle with me here?...are you gonna come across the cameras? Then be quiet.” “It's a free world,” GG replied. “No, it's not a free world,” FOOL said. “It's called professionalism.” It appears to POG VC FOOL was making a subtle criticism our Hulkster's profession, seeming to forget that it was GG's years of professionalism in wrestling that was responsible for accruing the marital $GREEN$, and showed a lack of respect for the fact that GG was paying his bills, and that is a ton of $GREEN$! FOOL needs a good dose of pestilence ridder .

Hulkster’s soon-to-be ex-wife is Linda Bolea, nee Claridge (Mrs. GG). Mrs. GG, who has been a stay-at-home mom, is now in a bitter divorce action with GG. Attorneys for GG filed documents Monday asking that he be given $GREEN$300,000 from the frozen assets so he could pay his bills. In December, Mrs. GG was granted $GREEN$400,000 to pay attorneys' fees (see what I'm saying?).

Now the Hulkster has been a cheating GREEN GIANT, stepping out on Mrs. GG with his daughter’s friend, Christiane Plante who was thirty years old at the time.
Mrs. GG did not cheat but after filing for divorce in November of 2007 at the age of fifty one, she began dating Charlie Hill, nineteen years old at the time. Hill was a student at the GREEN GIANT’s children’s high school, one grade above his son and one grade below his daughter. Mrs. GG and Hill broke up in May of 2008. Sounds like an oozy green poopy mess. Appears the GGs could also use a good dose of Greenstone!

GREEN HUMOR

Jon Stewart host of Comedy Central’s Daily Show took hyper-kinetic Jim Cramer of CNBC’s Mad Money and cofounder of TheStreet.com to task yesterday for his incredible ineptitude leading up to the economic meltdown which cost many people a lot of GREEN saying, "I know you want to make finance entertaining, but it's not a [expletive] game." Cramer’s defense was, "It's difficult to have a reporter say, 'I just came from an interview with [former Treasury Secretary] Hank Paulson and he lied his damn fool head off.' It's difficult. I think it challenges the boundaries." Lame answer. Stewart’s reply: "I'm under the assumption...you don't just take their word at face value."

POG VC does not think the millions of GREEN lost by the hardworking green gals and guys across America is the least bit funny. She does think Jon Stewart’s professionally executed roast of Jim Cramer darkly comedic, and well deserved. Not because Cramer messed up - let’s face it the Securities and Exchange Commission, Congress and the Treasury Department messed up. At least Cramer admitted “I should do a better job;” at least Cramer was humble (and humiliated). Can’t say that about the above mentioned. And then there’s Bernie Maddoff, but that’s another POST.

MEAN GREEN

THE KING OF MEAN

The King of Mean, 70-year-old Bernie (MADDOG) Madoff, who brazenly made off with a $GREEN$ 50,000,000,000 in a ponzi scheme that defies, well, the law? Logic? Common decency? MADDOG’s ten million dollar bail was revoked by U.S. District Judge Denny Chin and he was sent to the Metropolitan Correctional Center next door to the courthouse to await sentencing. MADDOG admitted to essentially playing Monopoly, which is the only game he is going to be playing for a long time; he certainly has experience in using paper money and now has been ordered to GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL. Leona Helmsley, known as The Queen of Mean, was a piker in comparison.



Small compensation to the folks whose $GREEN$ was misbegotten by MADDOG, as well as the populace of the entire country who are enraged and rightly so. It's is not only his $Green$Greed that has everyone fired up. MADDOG's whining about being put under penthouse arrest limiting his $GREEN$ lifestyle is like pouring kerosene on flames. Any one of us would have been hauled off to Rikers Island prison and that ain't green. New Yorkers in particular are thirsting for blood; understandable as they were overwhelmingly affected. Not since Ethel and Julius Rosenberg were tried, found guilty of conspiracy to commit espionage, and executed has there been such an outcry. There was a reason for his wearing a bullet-proof jacket to court yesterday - if they can't get their $GREEN$ back, they want his head! POG VC believes if we were not a society of laws MADDOG would be guillotined in Times Square.

GOUVERNEUR GRÜN

August 2006 - GG signs his Million Solar Roofs Plan into law. Known as the California Solar Initiative, it will provide 3,000 MWs of additional clean energy and reduce the output of greenhouse gases by more than two million tons. The more than $GREEN$3,000,000 incentive plan for homeowners and building owners who install solar electric systems will lead to one million solar roofs in California by the year 2017.

September 2008 - GG signs two laws that begin a shift in California toward a strong focus on green chemistry. Assembly Bill 1879 will establish and define California's Environmental Protection Agency's and the state Department of Toxic Substances Control's oversight of hazardous chemicals and the everyday products in which they are contained. These bills begin building the nation's most comprehensive green chemistry program based on science.

October, 2008 - GG installs the last of 1,727 solar panels on the rooftop of the STAPLES Center in Los Angeles. The 345 kilowatt photovoltaic solar system covers 24,196 square feet of the arena's rooftop and is the latest green action taken by the STAPLES management team. GG tours the Contessa Manufacturing Plant, the first frozen food facility in the world to be certified as a green building under the Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design rating system. The plant has waterless urinals that will save 200,000 gallons of water each year and solar panels the length of two football fields on its rooftop. GG has set a goal of increasing California's renewable energy sources to 20 percent by 2010, and he supports reaching 33 percent by 2020. Also, GG announces that California has partnered with SunEdison to provide a zero-emission 8 megawatt solar photovoltaic system to power 15 California State University campuses.

March 3, 2009 - GG is this year’s guest of honor at the CeBIT fair and kicks off the world's biggest high-tech fair Tuesday, telling executives to seize the economic crisis as a moment to shape up and go "green.” GG toured stands with Chancellor Angela Merkel and dropped by IBM's booth. GG said that as the information technology sector's carbon footprint grows larger by the year, now is the time to promote more energy efficiency to cut costs as well as reduce emissions. "The only way we can move forward is not just with the will but with the technology." GG came to the fair with fifty firms from California, most from the valetudinarian (had to do that) Silicon Valley.

GG and Mrs. GG at the 20th anniversary premiere of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, in Los Angeles.

VOTE! EARTH

Today, Saturday March 28th, at 8:30 p.m. you can VOTE! EARTH by switching off your lights for one hour ~ EARTH HOUR.

GREEN JERK

California Attorney General Jerry Brown GJ filed eleven felony charges yesterday against Howard K. Stern and two doctors, Sandeep Kapoor and Khristine Eroshevich. Jerry alleges they provided the late Anna Nicole Smith, whose death was ruled an accidental overdose, with thousands of prescription drugs, including opiates and sedatives. Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.

Ostensibly, GJ appears to be as green as one can be. He likes arugula, broccoli and flax multibran cereal; hiked to the top of half dome; made first trip to Yosemite National Park at the age of four; and his first car was a 1974 green Plymouth. While serving as California Governor as did his father GJ was nicknamed “Governor Moonbeam” as a result of his unorthodox ideas like the establishment of a state space academy and the purchase of a satellite that would be launched into orbit to provide emergency communications for the state. At the time POG VC thought GJ innovative and misunderstood.

Back in the mid-1970’s GJ could occasionally be seen dating high-profile women, the most notable of whom was Linda Ronstadt, who he took to Africa. As a result of the press stalking them to the airport Linda hid in the ladies room. The couple made the cover Newsweek magazine in April 1979. In a 1975 interview with Rolling Stone “Heartbreak on Wheels” by Ben Fong-Torres, Linda admitted resorting to “plenty of cocaine” during the Neil Young tour in 1973. In the same article she said she has taken just about every drug around, she said in answer to a question. But she's given up almost every one. Grass once made her hands swell, she said. Cocaine made her "feel terrible. And I also can't take opiates." Nor can she drink. A steady diet of gin, she said, made her dizzy and she thought she had vertigo. Other drinks gave her skin rashes. She tried heroin "once or twice, but it's not for me." She can take speed and declared Methedrine her only remaining vice. H-m-m-m-m-m...timeline...early ‘70’s...h-m-m-m-m-m. During those years POG VC attended a Ronstadt concert and Linda was literally carried on and off the stage. POG VC was struck at how she managed to perform beautifully in her obviously stoned condition.

There is no judgment here. POG VC cares not what GJ and Linda did or did not do and
is not advocating for the use of drugs by Linda, Anna Nicole or anyone. POG VC's point is if GJ is so adamant, "These individuals repeatedly and excessively furnished thousands of prescription pills to Anna Nicole Smith, often for no legitimate medical purpose," then why in all these years as a politician has he not looked into the individuals who provided his once girlfriend the illegal drugs she readily admits to taking? NOW THAT’S HYPOCRISY!

Further, then Governor of California GJ often visited his friend Gary Snyder's (known as the Zen Poet and winner of the 1974 Pulitzer Prize for poetry) farmhouse Kitkitdizze, a destination and hangout for hippies. Snyder participated in the Six Gallery reading in San Francisco, at which Allen Ginsberg first read Howl. Poet Ginsberg authored the Great Marijuana Hoax: First Manifesto to End the Bringdown published in November of 1966 and also admitted that he had “smoked a lot of marijuana.” Through a recommendation from friend Gary Snyder, Governor GJ named Coyote to the California Arts Council in 1975. The next year he was named its chairman, remaining head of the Council from 1976 to 1983. As head of the council PC acted as an advocate for and funder of all sorts of arts programs and grants throughout the state.

Peter Coyote who also visited Kitkitdizze back in the day, performed with a guerillatheater group the San Francisco Mime Troupe who at that time was managed by a young Bill Graham. Coyote began running with the Diggers, a legendary group at
the time, which organized free public music performances by such groups as The Grateful Dead and Big Brother & the Holding Company. Coyote claims in his memoir Sleeping Where I Fall: A Chronicle that Janis Joplin, lead singer for BB&HC, was a good friend and a "sometime lover, sometime dope partner." As we all know Janis died tragically from a drug overdose in 1970.

As Coyote had lived in the late ‘60’s at Olema (“Coyote Valley” in the indigenous Miwok language) commune on the Point Reyes Peninsula in Northern California which he founded and was considered its patriarch. The commune was infamously referenced in Lowell (Banana) Levinger’s “Hippy From Olema” recorded by his group The Youngbloods who also lived on the peninsula, POG VC was not surprised when Minnie DiPrima, daughter of Diane DiPrima and LeRoi Jones (later known as Imaru Baraka), was named the recipient of a $GREEN$10,000 grant. Minnie was a talented ‘tween but thatsa lotta $GREEN$1 to put in the hands of a fourteen-year old. Diane Di Prima writes in her memoir Recollections Of My Life As A Woman: The New York Years, that she smoked marijuana and hashish, and took LSD before it became illegal.

The point of this rather long GJ history rant by forum standards is clear. Again, no judgment here, just the facts regarding the illegal substances GJ's friends used and in some cases died from. NOW THAT’S HYPOCRISY!

KEY LIME Pi

IT'S Pi DAY POGS!
Posted on Forum 14 Mar 09

Pi Day is a holiday that celebrates the mathematical constant, Pi (). Pi s a symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter Pi=3.1415926535...millions of digits of Pi. It is celebrated on March 14th because the first three digits of Pi are 3.14 -- although true enthusiasts mark the actual time of the holiday as 1:59 p.m., also known as the Pi Minute, or 1:59:26 p.m., the Pi Second. (While it is possible to estimate with great precision the moment at which the holiday occurs, it is impossible exactly to define.) Pi jokes* are traditionally told on Pi Day. March 14th is also, coincidentally, the birthday of Albert Einstein. On March 11, 2009, the House of Representatives passed a resolution making March 14th officially National Pi Day.

*Pi DAY JOKES:

• Q: What do you get when you cut a jack o'lantern by its diameter?
• A: Pumpkin Pi!

• Q: What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?
• A: Moon Pi.

• Q: What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?
• A: Pi in the sky.

THE GAME MASTER

POG VC at the age of seven with her trusty rifle.

In her youth POG VC was referred to as "The Game Master" because of the fun and often perverse games she would invent. Unknown to the parents of siblings and friends, all played with enthusiasm and an occasional minor injury.** Girl geeks were unusual back then so POG VC hung out with boy geeks, like Hugh Profitt. Hugh kept his MAD magazines hidden under his mattress away from his military officer father. Reading MAD was an act of radical rebellion and a stealth operation!

Pi DAY GAMES:

One Million Digits of Pi*

Key Lime Pi Exercise: Memorize as many Million Digits of Pi* as possible.

Key Lime Pi Contest: Gather as many of your Pi Head Punk friends next Pi Day, March 14, 2010, to see who remembers the most Million Digits of Pi.*

Pork Pi and Beans**

If a tepee is unavailable, fashion one using any old blankets on hand. Draw straws and herd the participants into the tepee making sure no one can see outside. Sharpen the end of a wooden broom handle until it is pointed and sharp. The person who draws the straw wields the broom handle, arbitrarily poking it into the tepee from the outside, causing mayhem and fear on the inside. The first bean to be porked gets to be the porker. Amazingly, very few injuries occurred.

**Please do not attempt to play this game! It is included for the purpose of entertainment only.

INTRODUCTION

WELCOME to Greenstone's Charlottesville Blog! We POGs* (Punked Out Geeks), POG Parker and POG VC, trust you will visit us often and join in the hilarity. The blog design is reflective of our patent site GREENSTONEPATENT.com. Our Greenstone page design, colors and logo reflect stone, rock, green, emerald, New Zealand jade, and Mâori talismans from which the logo was derived. Times-Mâori font with a graphic overlay of green marble, stone-grey background color and the 'S' in the Greenstone logo fashioned from a New Zealand Manaia talisman derived from the word 'mana.' The design of Greenstone's Charlottesville Blog will be more subtle. Rather than gathering around a fire in a New Zealand cave we shall meet in a softly lit room somewhere in Morocco drinking Cristalgreenos (Cristalino sparkling wine and absinthe) by the light of Persian lamps.

POG VC mistook a forum for a blog and set up Greenstone's Tangler Forum. Did not take long for POG VC to realize the difference. The blog posts from that forum are KEY LIME Pi, GREEN JERK, GOVERNOR GRÜN , MEAN GREEN, GREEN HUMOR, NOT SO JOLLY GREEN GIANT, and COMICAL GREEN CHRONICLES.

*Anson David Parker and Virginia Valentine Coles, Co-Inventors, Compositions and Methods Relating to Extensible Transgenic Vector Assembler, Pestilence Ridder, Plus Cannabinoid Producer.